Merry Christmas everyone! Now let me tell the parts of the Christmas story they do not want you to know. I have pieced this story together after hours and hours of painstaking research, mostly in the dog park. First of all, you know the shepherds who were present at the birth of Jesus. They were dogs. Their job was to protect the sheep. Like a much earlier version of the German Shepherd. Also, Jesus was not born in a manger, he was born in a dog boarding kennel. Everyone had to go back to their hometown for the census and some people couldn't take their dogs so it was very full. There were not sheep, cows and pigs there but many different breeds of dogs. In Aramaic, Jesus means "hound like." Do you think it is a coincidence the God spelt backwards is Dog? Have a barking good Christmas.
